SD mom chooses LIFE in two diagnosed "incompatable with life" pregnancies

Those who profit from abortion are trying to sell our state on how cruel it would be if a mom with a fetal anomaly pregnancy would be forced to carry the child to term. (I think it's cruel to dismember the child - they feel pain at 7 weeks.)  I've shared in earlier posts that a mom carrying a child until his/her life ends naturally is not cruel, it's a privilege and one of life's highest honors. It all depends on what is in your heart. The profession I'm in puts me in the middle of many of these situations and I meet amazing people who thank God and forever treasure things like one minute with a child. 

A couple years ago I officiated at the funeral of Noah Gabel - he's the infant in the picture on the left. Do his parents Dorothy and Kelly Gabel look like it was cruel and inhumane to be forced to carry Noah to term? The funeral was full of life and meaning and hope and joy. No guilt or remorse later either.  Here we have a mom and a dad who can stand before God and say they didn't play God, nor did they reject one he gave them to love. Knowing what was in their hearts, the Author of Life trusted them with another baby the world would reject. You can read about that in Dorothy's testimony below. Every Sunday I get to see Elijah, the boy in the middle and right photos.

God never snuffs out struggling life… "a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice…" Isaiah 42:3

---

This testimony is not just my story but it is the testimony of my sons. Shortly after my husband and I were married we learned we were expecting. We were happy to start our family. We did all the usual appointments and were delighted to hear our baby’s heartbeat. At around 21-22 weeks we had our first ultrasound. It was very special to see our baby and to see him move. I asked if things looked Okay and we were told yeah and it would be read by a radiologist. This was on a Tuesday.

On Friday I received a phone call from the doctor. We went to a family practice physician and she told me that the ultrasound had shown some things to be concerned about. She told me not to be overly concerned until we knew more as things can be nothing when the babies are so small. The results showed enlarged ventricles in the brain, a possible ASD possible VSD, opening along the spine and a club foot. So many possible problems. I was heart broken, afraid and felt devastated. My mom was on the other line so I had immediate support. It was a very hard day. I cried all day and called a number of friends seeking prayer and support. My mind ran ahead thinking how we would have to change our lives in order to care for this child. We had it set up with the doctor to see a specialist the following week. It was a long and hard weekend. I cried often.

Finally Wednesday came and we learned from the doctor that he thought based on the characteristics of the baby it was a condition called Trisomy 18 or 13. I remembered a little from nursing school that neither was very good in terms of outcome. We decided to go ahead and have an amniocentesis done to confirm what it was so we would know how to care for this child. All this time, while we were doing the ultrasound, talking to the doctor and the amnio, I was just saying over in my head, I can do all things through Christ who is in me and when I am weak He is strong. I was so very weak and helpless. We left knowing that our baby did have a lot of problems and that the baby may not live long. We were told that I would likely miscarry or the baby would not live long after birth.

We did our own research and learned that most children with Trisomy 18 die before their first birthday. On Friday of that week we got the confirmation that it was Trisomy 18. It was helpful for us to know. We were told this diagnosis is incompatible with life and we were offered to terminate the pregnancy. As much as we hurt this was not something we could do. My husband said to me one morning before he left for work, You know we should feel honored that God would give us such a special child because he doesn’t give them to just everyone. It gave me a little perspective to think that God knew we would protect this little ones life and that it was good. Some days were very hard. I cried lot at night. Kelly would just hold me.

When the full set of chromosomes came back we learned we had a son and decided to name him Noah as he was upright in God’s eyes. We loved Noah. I had to let go of my dreams for him and love him for just who he was. There were times we didn’t know if he was still alive as he didn’t move much but at every appointment his heart was beating strong. As we drew close to delivery, Noah was breech so they tried to turn him. His heart beat dropped and we almost lost him at that time. This prepared us for the fact that delivery was probably going to be hard on him and it was likely that we would loose him. Noah was born on January 10, 2005. His heart was beating that morning but he died during the delivery.

We had grown to love him so much but never had a chance to show him our love but we had given him the gift of life for as long as God had ordained. In Psalm 139:13-6 it says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

We had no regrets but missed loving him. The one thing I desired was that he would not suffer. He went from the womb to the arms of Jesus. It maybe doesn't make sense but there was Joy in our delivery room because we gave birth to a special little person who touched our lives. We were able to hold him, count his toes, and kiss his soft little cheek. Noah had a precious and beautiful face. We look forward to seeing him in heaven. Its hard to put into words but Noah's life touched people. He drew us as a couple together and gave us more insight on people especially those who are hurting. He gives and takes away, Blessed be that name of the Lord became kind of a theme in our lives as we sang that in church. We learned to give thanks in our sorrow.

This is the letter I wrote for Noah's funeral which gives a little summary of some of our feelings.

Dear Noah, Today we celebrate your eternal life. We cannot help but rejoice in knowing you. We know you are in the arms of Jesus and that brings us joy. You were a gift to us for nine precious months. We loved you from the moment you were conceived. When we first heard you heart beat we were amazed a the miracle of life. We looked forward to hearing it at each visit. The day we learned you had some problems we were so sad and so scared. God was with us and comforted us though. He said “My grace is sufficient for you”. We then grew to love you for just how special God made you. We loved you not for who you would have been, but for who you were with all your special needs. Your daddy said we should feel honored that God would give us such a special baby because he doesn't give them to just anyone. You have taught us so much. We are still learning from you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made just as God designed you. You surprised us with how strong you were. Your heart always sounded so strong yet your body was so very fragile and your life so very precious. We knew that our time was going to be shorter with you than we desired. We look forward to seeing you in heaven. You are God's gift to us and we thankfully give you back to Him. We will always love you Noah Theodore Gabel and we will treasure the memories you have given us. With all our love, Dad and Mom

During the next year, we had two miscarriages. These losses were also hard but God is still good. We them became pregnant with our son Elijah. We had lots of concerns going into the pregnancy but every thing was looking good. We did a screen at 12 weeks which was non-invasive and showed no indicators of Trisomy 18 or 13.

At 20 weeks we had our next ultrasound. The tech was happy and excited for us. She started out looking at the baby’s heart and thought that looked good. As she went on she got quieter and didn’t say much, we knew something was up. Kelly said after she left and we talked a bit, the baby has spina bifida. I thought no-way. I didn’t have any risk factors and no family history. I was taking 4 mg of folic acid which is a prescription dose. The doctor came in and did his part of the exam. He was also quite solemn. He told us the baby had an opening along his back and it was quite long. I was devastated. He talked a while with us and told us there could be other problems so we decided to again do and amniocenteses to know how we could best help our baby. We left feeling disappointed, sad and fearful. We went out to the car and just sat and talked for a little while. My thought went to the worst case scenario, as a nurse I had seen a lot.

Our next stop was the church. Pastor Steve, Dennis and Kristen were here and they prayed over and for us. From the very start of our pregnancy, we had lots of people praying. Pastor Steve told us to tell him as soon as we knew we were expecting and he would pray daily for our baby. We prayed for healing many times. We had ultrasounds often. It was hard because would look for healing yet there was none that we could see. They never asked us to terminate our pregnancy but they do for some. They were always measuring his head and opening on his back. There were always concerns. We just had to pray and trust.

Elijah was born and we were prepared knowing he would need surgery shortly after he was born. We had a planned C-section. We learned what we could and felt as prepared as we could be. I went into labor a little earlier that the planned c-section so they decided to deliver only to learn that the neurosurgeon was on vacation and wouldn’t be home for 3 days. The sac on Elijah’s back was very fragile and there was concern of it breaking open. Plans were made and he was flown to St Paul when he was about 5-6 hours old. He had surgery when he was 12 hours old. We followed two days later when they would let me out of the hospital. We spent a total of 10 days in St Paul.

When he was a week old he had a VP shunt placed which drains fluid from his brain to his abdomen. It was a joy to finally bring him home. His first year was tough as his shunt wasn’t working right. He kept making progress but was delayed especially physically. By the time of his 1st birthday it was working well. He has done wonderful over this last year. He is a huge joy and blessing in our home. We rejoice over every milestone and are amazed by him. He is just learning to walk at the age of two.

Some babies are aborted with the diagnosis of spina bifida. I can’t imagine life without Elijah.

He has taught us many things and will for the rest of his life. My prayer for him is that he will have a voice for his generation just as Elijah in the Old Testament had a voice to his generation. Since Elijah was conceived my prayer has been that he would be drawn to God. We love him so. Noah and Elijah are the best gifts I never would have asked for. If we didn’t know sorrow, we wouldn’t be able to understand great joy. With a cost there is more gratitude. Sometimes we think , why did we have to go through these difficulties with having a family but maybe it is because our story will help save the lives of babies who would otherwise be aborted and not allowed to have the full impact that their precious life could have. It has also led us to adoption and we are ready to give a home to a child who would otherwise be aborted given the option. Children are a true gift and we have no regret on giving them life.